I was going to write a blog about how I love Valentine’s Day even though I’m single and why everyone needs to get over hating it but then I forgot til now.

Seriously, why do people have to hate on love if they don’t have it? Can’t we just be happy for each other and go home and do shit we can’t do when we are in a couple like eat a can of icing/jar of peanut butter/sleeve of thin mints and gloat that no one saw us do that? It’s liberating.

I feel like a hippie but I am just over all the bitter shrews in the world who say loudly, “VALENTINE’S DAY IS A MADE UP COMMERCIAL HOLIDAY AND I DON’T CELEBRATE IT.” Come on, bitch. If someone delivered flowers to your work today, you’d be all over this holiday. Maybe you are lonely but protesting too loudly against a silly holiday just makes me sad for you. It also doesn’t make you sound desirable. I realize that you shouldn’t only celebrate your love for someone once a year but what’s wrong with a nice sentiment? Nothing!

Guys tend to hate Valentine’s Day because… I’m almost positive… they are lazy. It REALLY does not take much to make a girl happy on Valentine’s Day: flowers. Candy. Champagne maybe? Maybe even dinner though I don’t think that’s required. It doesn’t have to be crazy or expensive. You just have to PRETEND to have a good attitude about BEING NICE and you’re golden!!!

So to all of you in love, I’m happy for you. Truly. For the rest of us, I think there’s hope for us yet. But til then, we don’t have to share the bed or the remote or the champagne so let’s all relish in what we have and stop hating on a day that’s meant for love.

This is me in my terribly on-the-nose Valentine’s Day getup, complete with anatomical heart necklace.